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Ficlet: In which Giles overcomes a fear of, and Ethan learns a healthy respect for, Technology - Procrastination Central

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January 6th, 2007

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12:36 pm - Ficlet: In which Giles overcomes a fear of, and Ethan learns a healthy respect for, Technology
Joss owns all, fic contains mild violence but it appropriate for most ages.

Giles, Ethan

written for supermom20 who wanted Ethan, humor, and technology! Enjoy :)

Ethan stood several feet from the door and closed his eyes as he raised a hand to the air and ‘felt’ it out with his mind. Ah, yes. He smiled as he felt the feeble wards that Ripper had erected to keep out all manner of nasties from sniffing around his flat…and, Ethan, was sure, Rip’s definition of ‘nasty’ probably included one Ethan Rayne. A flick of the wrist here, a whispered charm there, though, and his out-of-practice old friend’s spells fell like dust before him. Ah, the plans he had for mischief tonight!

Giles watched the greyscale monitor with interest, no longer grouchy with sleepiness when he recognized the figure on the screen. At first he’d thought the MaximumSecurity 3000x had woken him with another false alarm, but finally the expensive system was proving its worth. It was with irritation he watched Ethan disable spells that had taken him hours in just a few quick seconds. He hit the first red button on the panel with the blinking panel of LEDs that controlled the 3000x’s arsenal.

Mace…the look on Ethan’s grainy black and white face was priceless on screen before his hands came up to scrub at the agony.

Quickly, before Ethan had a chance to run away, Giles hit the next button.

Two taser darts shot out into Ethan’s chest, and the jolt was strong enough to make his whole body convulse.

Then the third button…he’d had to special order this feature as 7 feet tall steel bars emerged from the paving of the patio to form walls around his ‘intruder.’

But instead of hitting the fourth button that would call the police, Giles went to a separate panel that was not part of the 3000x at all. It opened the door to the doggy house Ethan had failed to notice as a new addition. A doggy house which was now in the same bar surrounded enclosure as the poor electrocuted pepper-sprayed sorcerer.

Giles knew there was a reason he’d kept the little hellhound puppy Buffy had said was too cute to slay even though the damn thing was all fangs and claws…the first scream was so loud, Giles was able to hear it from within the apartment. If future screams made it through the door, he didn’t notice…his own laughter was more than loud enough to cover it up.

Three minutes later Ethan finally did escape, eyes wide and flesh a little torn running like a bat out of hell…or a sorcerer with hell on his heels, but by then Giles was on the floor, tears of mirth streaming down his face.

Willow had been right…sometimes technology was worthwhile.

The next morning he sat down to write a letter…

Re: MaximumSecurity 3000x
Attn: Customer Service Department

Dear Sir or Madam:

I am quite pleased with my recently purchased unit and its overall security performance. A feature I particularly enjoy is the ability to view recorded surveillance tapes again and again…

Though I would like to suggest a few improvements. Perhaps the cameras could be made to record in color and, most importantly, with high quality audio? That would be most appreciated.


Rupert Giles,
satisfied customer

(9 time wasters | Waste Some Time)


[User Picture]
Date:January 6th, 2007 10:05 pm (UTC)
On behalf of Ethan, may I yell, "Fucking Hell. Get me out of here!"

This was funny (even though I still prefer to think of these two being together in their old age - maybe when they've run out of tricks) AND obviously vicious.

Just a small quibble.
Do you mean three minutes latter OR three minutes later?
And, even though the presence of U in Canadian spelling is a comfort, I don't think sourcerer is a Canadian word.

Otherwise, thank you, my dear, for lifting me up out of my January lethargy!
New Year Hugs,
Just Me.
[User Picture]
Date:January 7th, 2007 12:48 am (UTC)
Oops! Well that's what I get for not proofreading :)

I didn't say they couldn't be together later...but I can't ever imagine a time when there's not mischief between the two :)
[User Picture]
Date:January 6th, 2007 11:38 pm (UTC)
A feature I particularly enjoy is the ability to view recorded surveillance tapes again and again…

Hah! I loved this. And I can just see Giles laughing helplessly as Ethan endures all manner of miseries.
[User Picture]
Date:January 7th, 2007 05:57 am (UTC)
*L* Yes, well the only thing permanently harmed was Ethan's ego :)
[User Picture]
Date:January 7th, 2007 06:15 pm (UTC)
LOL....knowing Ethan, I doubt there was any serious, permanent damage *grin*
[User Picture]
Date:January 7th, 2007 03:24 am (UTC)
Yay! Phen-fic!!!

Simply priceless, my dear. satisfied customer *snort*
[User Picture]
Date:January 7th, 2007 05:57 am (UTC)
Well hopefully you were! Now I just need to write the other two...*L* writing fic again is harder than I thought!
[User Picture]
Date:January 7th, 2007 05:46 am (UTC)
(snigger) Is it wrong that I want the hellpuppy's name to be something nauseatingly cute? Like Fluffy? Or Princess?
[User Picture]
Date:January 7th, 2007 05:56 am (UTC)
Sorry. Just Benji :)

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